endless liminality

Hell yeah

2009-12-13T23:43:15Z

Fuck You and Fuck Your Fucking Thesis: Why I Will Not Participate in Trans Studies

Trans movies

2009-11-13T22:27:39Z

Just ran across this trailer and was pleasantly surprised:

Last night I watched Soap, a Danish film about two neighbors, one of whom is a trans woman. It was a bit hard to watch at times because it hit too close to home, but in terms of accurately portraying the experience of a trans person, I was really impressed. It's my second favorite (fiction) trans film behind Beautiful Boxer.

And the other night we watched Trantasia, about the World's Most Beautiful Transsexual Pageant. Sounds like it could be a disaster, but it's actually very empowering.

And we also watched Dog Day Afternoon, which is seriously awesome (but don't watch the trailer because they show you the whole movie...except, of course, the trans part! Gotta have a tranny surprise!). It's based on a true story about a guy who robbed a bank to pay for his girlfriend's SRS. There is a documentary about the real person, Based on a True Story, which you can view online (it's mostly in English).

Also saw Beautiful Daughters, which is about the transgender performance of The Vagina Monologues. It was fine; nothing too earth shattering. I'm just like, hello, trans men can have vaginas too.

Not trans related, but The Business of Being Born is also a must-see. Can you tell I'm half way through a free month of Netflix?

I loved Legos, but this is icky.

2009-10-15T03:28:52Z

Dear LEGO Company,

I am writing to let you know that I just saw a LEGO pop-up ad, and in all honestly, it made me want to vomit. It read "Find the Perfect LEGO DUPLO set for your child. First things first. Is this gift for a boy or a girl?"

Why "first things first?" What does a child's sex have to do with what kind of toy they like? It is important to me to know that everyone is free to express their gender in whatever way is comfortable to them. Some boys like "feminine" toys and some girls like "masculine" toys. Yet children who deviate from the kind of toys that they are "supposed" to like face ridicule. Children are often punished or ostracized for preferring toys associated with the other sex. These are very real, very serious issues.

Given that the ad seems to produce the results based on color alone, why must people go through the exercise of thinking that there are "girl toys" and "boy toys" rather than just toys? Since the products are the same whether you choose girl or boy, the ad is simple pandering to sexist ideas. If you just have generic products, it seems unnecessary to pretend that they are sex-segregated. This just perpetuates the harms I described above.

I hope that you will consider ceasing to run this deeply hurtful campaign.

Sincerely,

Noah

Caster Semenya

2009-08-29T14:58:24Z

Dave Zirin, my new hero / role model:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMUIoO8eArA

liketheark @ 2009-08-04T10:18:00

2009-08-04T14:21:10Z

I visited this website and my first thought was, "wow, what a plain-looking website." [insert forehead smack]

I should hope so....

2009-08-01T04:23:32Z

I knew about half way through this sentence that it just wasn't gonna come out right.

While [Noah] had no biological trouble relieving himself, he experienced significant societal barriers in his efforts to relieve himself while in public.

liketheark @ 2009-04-26T22:00:00

2009-04-27T02:13:53Z

I just received word of my upcoming 15 year high school reunion and I am super excited.

Literally yesterday I was lying on my bed and thought about how it was 15 years and wondering if there would be a reunion. (I didn't go to the 10th one since I was in an awkward pre-transition phase and lacked full confidence.) Then today, the invite! It's at the end of May, so now I have one month to get my life in order. :)

I went on Facebook and was friending people from high school, and I'm like, is it rude to friend or message ex-boyfriends when you haven't personally told them that you're a dude now? Well, the one is gay and he already knew and friended me right back. Many people know of my transition, but I've only met one person in person I think.

I have this picture of me holding my senior year high school picture next to my face, and I thought it would be pretty hilarious to make that my Facebook profile picture. But I don't really want that thing on the internet, so no dice. But I should probably take an old picture with me. I mean, most people have a hard time remembering who people are as it is. But my general attitude is going to be like this is totally normal, just like other people get married and have kids, well, some people change sexes. Maybe there will even be another trans classmate.

And I'll be taking a person they will perceive as male, so that is a another whole layer. But it is my intention that everyone will be super friendly and supportive.

liketheark @ 2009-04-22T20:08:00

2009-04-23T00:42:28Z

I evidently live under a rock since this is the first I'm learning about the Angie Zapata case. So hearing about the case is bad enough. (clicking the link is pretty upsetting)

But I'm not excited about the conviction. She's already gone so it's not like it's doing her or her family any good.

There's no question the publicity about the case is good, and on one hand it's certainly good that there was a conviction of first-degree murder. That does represent change, but I think that change is the result of more societal awareness of trans people due to trans activism and people being openly trans. The hate crimes part is wholly unnecessary. I also I don't see how anyone is served by locking this guy up and throwing away the key.

"Defense attorney Kundelius also made a short statement: 'I think it's important everybody know Mr. Andrade is not some kind of monster, as has somewhat been portrayed.'" Exactly.

Everyone can look at this guy and say "what a monster" and not question their own behavior. Cisgender women can condemn this person and still freak out when a trans woman wants to use the restroom. Cisgender men can still make Crying Game jokes. Pop culture can still portray trans women as fake.

Yeah, OK, the evidence might have been convincing that the killer knew she was trans before hand. But what if he hadn't?

I don't want more hate crimes laws. How about ENDA? How about HB300 here in PA? How about press coverage that doesn't put quotes around Angie?

Hmm, time's up.

I love intersections.

2009-02-14T17:55:06Z

I randomly ran across this forthcoming book, Normal at Any Cost; Tall Girls Short Boys, and the Medical Industry's Quest to Manipulate Height, and it seems like a fascinating read for trans folk:

Detailing the lengths modern science and everyday people have gone to in order to maintain stature norms — as well as the impact this manipulation has had on patients, pharmaceutical companies and society at large — Normal at Any Cost is a thorough investigation of a phenomenon that still affects us today: the attempts by drug-makers to define "normal" height.

Going behind closed doors and into recently unsealed files, Cohen and Cosgrove reveal the harrowing extent of Big Pharma’s role in growth therapy: from the synthetic estrogen that forced thousands of young, tall girls into early puberty; to cadavers harvested for human growth hormone (hGH), leading to an outbreak of human mad cow disease. Normal at Any Cost strikes a cinematic balance between the science (detailing the "how" and "why" behind the therapies) and the personal tales of the players involved.

But librarians are supposed to be progressive...

2008-09-24T03:13:38Z

I just got around to reading Schroer v. Billington. I'm hard pressed to think of a better opinion that I've read--some smart people had a lot of fun with that.

This is the case where the Library of Congress refused to hire their new terrorism expert after she told them she'd be starting as a woman. The facts could not be more perfect, e.g., "Schroer received the highest interview score of all eighteen candidates." But as soon as Shroer informed them, they told her the next day her offer was rescinded.

More precisely, it went like this:

Later that day, Preece circulated a draft of what she
proposed to tell Schroer to those who had participated in the
meeting. The email stated:

David [nevermind that you just told me your name is Diane]. I’m calling to let you know that I am not going forward with my recommendation to hire you for the terrorism position. In light of what you told me yesterday, I feel that you are putting me and CRS in an awkward position for a number of reasons as you go through this transition period [hey, at least I'm owning my own shit and acknowledging that it's awkward for me, not you]. I am primarily concerned that you could not likely be brought on in a timeframe that is needed for me to fill the position [well, I don't think you could transition quickly enough for me not to be weirded out, I mean you'd have a penis for a whole year!]. Our Personnel Security Office has told me that the background investigation process that will be required for you to start work could be lengthy [I know you already have security clearance, but it's sort of like how your credit history disappears when you change your name--it's like you're a whole new person!]. I am also concerned that the past contacts I had counted on you to bring to the position may not now be as fruitful as they were in the past. Finally I have concerns that the transition that you are in the process of might divert ~~your~~ my [I'll be honest] full attention away from the mission of CRS.

I could be wrong on any one of these complicated factors, but taken together I do not have a high enough degree of confidence [in my own ability to handle your transition] to recommend you for the position. Having said that, I very much appreciate your candor and your courage [it certainly does take courage to deal with assholes like me!]. I wish you the best and want to let you know that you should feel free to apply for future positions at the Library [just don't expect us to hire you!].

Pl. Ex. 19. Preece was then called into the General Counsel’s
office for a meeting at eleven o’clock. Afterward, Preece
circulated a revised email with the header “Draft per discussion
with General Coun[sel].” Pl. Ex. 20. It read:

David, Given the level and the complexities of
the position, I don’t think this is a good fit.
This has been a difficult decision, but given
the immediate needs of Congress, I’ve decided
not to go forward with the recommendation.

(Listen. If needed say) That’s all I’m prepared
to say at this time.

Also, don't miss the part where you can see the clerks/judge rofl is when they quote Scalia in favor of the decision (page 33).

There's not only humor, but also a heart-warming part. After listing all of the asinine things he said in his 2006 memorandum denying the Library’s motion to dismiss, including that a sex stereotyping claim could not arise from disclosure of gender dysphoria, the judge writes, "That was before the development of the factual record that is now before me." <3 <3 <3

Sometimes I like the law a tiny bit. But really, I like all of the education that went into the law clerks and the doctors who testified and the ACLU lawyers (two Harvard grads among them), so congratulations to Schroer and all of those "courageous" trans people who made this victory possible.

Unrelated but for a link: This is good for a laugh. But 19-year-olds don't date 26-year-old cissexuals, they date 28-year-old transsexuals. Get it straight!

intersecting privileges

2008-09-03T01:17:40Z

I was reading something that helped me put something that happened today in context.

I was at lunch there was a table of women and me at another table. We were outside and it was just us. One of the women started loudly complaining about the people who didn't evacuate before Katrina, about how they were stupid, etc.

Obviously there are a million reasons why they didn't get out involving institutional racism and classism. So normally I would say something like not everyone has a car, not everyone can afford gas, not everyone can afford a hotel, there weren't busses, we wouldn't fund the levy, etc.

But I didn't say anything because of the gender and class dynamics right there. I don't know if I make more than them, perhaps roughly the same, but they must know I'm an attorney temp, so that would create a weird dynamic, then there is the lone man telling a table full of women "what to do." Plus the eavesdropping thing.

I listened to see if anyone would correct her. One women kind of sort of tried to, mentioning the bridge and how the sheriff wouldn't let them cross, but that was after the fact and wasn't very compelling to the first woman.

I don't feel bad about not saying anything given the circumstances--I couldn't think fast enough to figure out a way to say anything without being an asshole. But if I could figure out something for the future, that would be good.

funniest job yet

2008-08-20T05:17:29Z

Law Clerk/Bailiff

Each year, beginning August 1, the Court [Provo, Utah] employs ten full time law clerks who also serve as courtroom bailiff to one judge.

DUTIES: Performs courtroom bailiff duties which include opening and closing court sessions, maintaining order in the courtroom, protecting integrity of jury during deliberations. Performs professional legal research and analysis on complex legal issues for district court judge.

You have to undergo six weeks of sheriff's training. ha! Alas, I'd no doubt fail the physical fitness exam...my dreams of becoming Rusty, dashed.

That's OK though, as I got the job in West Virginia. Yay, a paycheck!!

liketheark @ 2008-08-19T15:55:00

2008-08-19T20:22:08Z

Dani asked me what's the youngest people mistook me for, and I said that my age was showing. I spoke too soon. On the way home I got an emergency exit row seat (my reward for having to arrive at the airport four hours early*). Since you have to be a whopping 16 to sit there, the flight attendant asked how old I was. I said 31 and people around me laughed. The flight attendant said, "Yeah right! Like I believe that!"

Then I had a crazy Greyhound trip (that's redundant, huh?) to Philly where the women in front and behind me wanted me to put and get their bags from the overhead compartment. "Thank you, young man." The guy next to her asked if she needed help and she said, "No, this nice young man helped me." Pat pat pat.

*Incidentally, if you have more than a 2 hour layover at the Salt Lake City airport, you can get a van to and from Temple Square. Then, if you go there and tour the Beehive house, you can learn that Brigham Young was "one of the greatest colonizers" of the American West. And they mean that as a compliment.

I Am Happy I Cut Off My Legs/Boobs/Penis!

2008-08-19T04:55:47Z

I'm having a bit of a crazy time, so it seems fitting to share something disturbing.

I've written before wondering about the relationship between body integrity identity disorder and transsexuality. Last night I happened upon a video that touches upon an aspect that could shed some light on the subject: a trans woman with BIID who cut off her legs. In the related videos, you can find an update clip and "why I love Jerry Springer," which is where the disturbing transphobia and goriness comes out (and the non-liberated, transphobic disabled guy wanting to beat her up).

Obviously Sandra could answer the question of how they are the same or not, but she's not the only one. There is also Marie, who coined the word transabled and wrote A comparison between transsexuality and transableism.

I don't know how down I am with the word "transabled." Is that just me saying, "I don't want to be associated with those freaks?" I guess if I don't have a problem with people accessing medical procedures for BIID (which I guess I don't) then I shouldn't care if they appropriate "trans."

But, then again, I think I've a right to be a little annoyed when a cisgender person with BIID writes, "With this said, only one personal friend (as opposed to online friend) knows about my BIID, and that is only because she is transgendered and can relate to BIID in a way," then you see in the comments that "she" is an FTM guy.

assume your meditation posture!

2008-08-05T02:43:08Z

I'd been wanting a book on meditation because I know it's good for you, and I've made some attempts in the past without much success. I decided what kind of book I wanted. It would be for complete beginners, it wouldn't involve chanting things in another language, it would be practical, come with a CD, and above all, it would work!

So, this book found its way to me, and it's called Mental Resilience: The Power of Clarity. How to develop the focus of a warrior and the peace of a monk by Kamal Sarma.

Opening it up to the dedication, I knew it was the book for me: "To all the warrior monks who stand up against oppression and violence with only their focus, peace, and compassion. To those who fight not with arms but with alms."

Now, I know, you're thinking, but that sounds woo-woo, not practical. That's actually the most woo-woo part about the whole book. He actually likes to call it Mental Resilience Training to make it more down-to-earth than "meditation." Besides, as quoted in the book, "I used to think that anyone doing anything weird was weird. I suddenly realized that anyone weird wasn't weird at all and that it was the people saying they were weird that were weird." --Paul McCartney

Part One is about theory and goes into some of the documented benefits of meditation and explains the different kind of brain waves and stuff. Sarma is actually a corporate-type person--the few pictures of people meditating are wearing business suits. Ha!

The second part is on practice. The CD comes with 5 different meditations: Relaxation, Calm, Emotional Tranquility, Insight, and Wisdom. Since Sarma is Australian, I now meditate in an Australian accent.

Meditating in, on, and around the bar exam

I thought that trying this out while studying for the bar would be the perfect crucible--if I was ever going to need it, now would be the time, and if it was ever going to work, it had better work when it's most needed! So he has a three-week program to get you meditating daily. I did it daily, and it wasn't hard to do that at all.

I wasn't really stressing out about the exam, and I kept wishing I would a bit because I wanted some motivation to really start studying more, but it just wasn't there. Around 5 days away, I started to get a little nervous and had a pretty successfully day studying. Day 4 came and I decided to skip meditating in the morning because I was starting to feel the pressure and didn't want to "waste time." Big mistake.

Having the exam 4 days away is really a good point to realize that you should have done a lot more studying but there is not enough time left to cover everything that you need to. So by mid-afternoon I was in full panic mode. I haven't been that freaked out perhaps ever, but certainly not in a heck of a long time at any rate. I couldn't even find my kava kava to help calm me down pharmacologically. I thought well, I guess I'll give the relaxation meditation a shot, though I doubt it can do much good at this point.

Surprisingly, I was able to do it pretty well, and it worked completely. I was totally relieved of all that anxiety. It was amazing. So I knew better the next few days than to skip it in the morning, and I also knew that I had to make it a priority on exam mornings, just as much as eating well.

Well, the bar examiners are way ahead of me on that point. I wasn't able to quite leave enough time on the exam morning because I was already getting up at 6:20 a.m., so on the first day ended up doing it in the car once I got down there and parked, but only for 8 minutes.

But there is all this time built in where you're in the exam room and don't have access to study materials or anything, so you can just sit there and meditate. They actually read the instructions, then they say the exam will begin at such-and-such time, so take the next 4-8 minutes to relax. So for many people that was just a time for anxiety to build, but it was actually great time to mediate!

So I was really relaxed the whole time. The other great thing about meditation is that it can help refresh your brain, more so than taking a nap. I was rather surprised after the first full day how completely exhausted I was. I know they say the brain uses a lot of energy, but damn.

I didn't quite get as much sleep as I wanted for the second day, so I was kinda tired after the morning session. So, at lunch, I did the relaxation meditation, and that really helped refresh me. I saw all of the other people sitting around talking, and I was so confused thinking, aren't you exhausted, don't you need a break, how can you sit there and talk to other people? It later occurred to me that they're probably extroverts. They probably were getting energized by talking to other people!

Meditation is for everyone

But bottom line, if you have ever been interested in meditation, this is the book! And it's not just about relaxation, it's much more, it is about developing emotional tranquility, insight and wisdom.

OK, even if you've never been interested in meditation, check out this book. I'm mad that this stuff wasn't taught in school, and I wish someone would have taught me this sooner. But, I don't want to perpetuate the idea that meditation is just something for those "weirdos who meditate" by being too enthusiastic. So, I'll just leave you this: I like the story he tells here about the monks crossing a battlefield (but it is a promo video, so excuse any overdramatization).

Using the Law of Attraction

2008-08-01T19:06:46Z

Aw, thanks for the congratulations, everyone!

decafdyke raised a good question, "isn't it confidence to say "i am passing the bar right now," and arrogance to say "i passed" (before you know)?" I had thought about addressing that concern, so I'll do that now.

I'd typed out my whole explanation about why I am currently thinking "I passed the bar" as opposed to "I am passing the bar right now" before realizing that decafdyke probably didn't have the law of attraction in mind when posing the question. Ha ha ha. I just realized that the "I am passing the bar right now" probably referred to taking the actual exam and not something I'm supposed to be thinking right now, after the fact, because they're currently grading it.

That is too funny. My whole response centered on this finer point of the law of attraction when you had no reason to know that that was my basis for making the statement. I see now that I should perhaps offer more proof of why I even use the law of attraction (or what it is in the first place), which I was actually thinking I wanted to write about, but I don't have time to get into that now. So I'll just leave my somewhat more esoteric explanation...

But briefly, the law of attraction is that like attracts like and thoughts create things.

Since my mom has The Secret checked out, I'll just quote from it. To use the law of attraction, the first thing you have to do is get really clear on what you want, then ask for it. You only have to ask once, and the next step is to believe.

"You must believe that you have received. You must know that what you want is yours the moment you ask. You must have complete and utter faith. ... In the moment you ask, and believe and know you already have it in the unseen, the entire Universe shifts to bring it into the seen. You must act, speak, and think, as though you are receiving it now. … If your thoughts contain noticing you do not have it yet, you will continue to attract not having it yet. You must believe you have it already. You must believe you have received it."

Step three is receiving—"all you have to do to receive is feel good. ...Feel it as though you have received."

Prior to taking the bar I tried to focus not so much on the exam—I'd briefly visualize myself remaining calm during the exam—but I focused on feeling good when receiving word that I'd passed. For me, it is easier—since I have completed the exam—to think "I have passed the bar" since it is out of my control at this point.

Now, the book does suggest for the third step to help you get into the feeling good mode, saying, "I am receiving now. I am receiving all the good in my life, now. I am receiving [fill in your desire] now." I guess since all that is left is for me to receive notification that I have passed, that is all I lack. I don't lack the actual fact of passing. And I know the notification can't come sooner than October, so it wouldn't make sense for me to think "I am receiving notification."

If I wanted a material object that I clearly did not currently possess, it would be mentally harder to walk around saying "I have a million dollars" and actually believe it. In that instance, I would say something like, "I am receiving a million dollars." If I were to at this point think, "I am passing the bar" that would automatically raise doubts in my mind, so I want to avoid that.

So it might look like arrogance, but it's paramount not to let doubt creep in. It's not me saying, "I did really well therefore I deserve to pass." Or, "I'm so great, I'm so entitled, I deserve to pass." I'm more just stating a fact and not really commenting on my particular level of performance at all. (My major motivation for even thinking through the "logical" reasons why I passed was to quell any doubts that might start to creep in.) I don't know if I'm adequately conveying things or not, but at any rate, I'd rather risk looking arrogant and pass than look humble and not pass.

And...in case it's not obvious, the reason why I don't have a million dollars or a full-time job doing animal rights is two-fold. First, I'm not clear on what I want, and second, I don't feel that I deserve, well, most things, materially or happiness-wise. It was supposed to be my project yesterday to meditate and try to get some clarity on what I want, but I didn't get to that. So, that's what I'm going to do now.

liketheark @ 2008-07-31T14:15:00

2008-07-31T20:00:20Z

I passed the bar exam!

:)

Of course, they don't actually release the results until October (at which point I'll be constantly refreshing this page), but I'm not just being arrogant.

Evidently "Confidence...has a positive effect on performance, accounting in one study for more than 58% of the variance between innate ability and actual performance on an examination." Of course that begs the question what my innate ability was!

If I think about it in terms of gee, did I accumulate enough points to pass, that makes me a bit nervous. But if I think of it in terms of 78% of the people pass--was my performance really in the bottom 22%? And with that I have to conclude no. (Of course it's not a strict curve, it's only slightly curved, but I think this logic still holds.) I have to conclude that given my performance on the exam, if I really were part of the 22%, then I don't deserve to pass because other people must have completely studied their asses off. So that is another way of looking at it. I put in the amount of effort I was able to put in, and I accept the consequences. If I were to not pass, I would say, damn, that bar exam really is a killer. I did not take it as seriously as I should have. As it is, I took it seriously, put in a lot of effort, and I am confident my name will be on that list. (Actually, I put in so much ass time that I broke two chairs and completely flattened the cushion on another. Ahem. Maybe I'll go for a run.)

And in another reason to feel confident, The Situationist reports that bar passage rates are strongly correlated with undergraduate GPA and LSAT scores. More interestingly, they report on a study of law students "who, while in school, focused on areas of law not tested on the bar (e.g. intellectual property, international law, the law of underwater basket weaving)." Thankfully, the study found that the number of non-first year bar courses had no effect on whether students passed or failed the bar. Kind of hilarious, really. Showing the pointlessness of law school or the bar exam, I'm not sure which.

I had to laugh because I just looked at my transcript (because there is a law clerk job I'm thinking about applying for), and underwater basket weaving hits close to home. After my first year, I took only one course containing material that appeared on the bar exam (First Amendment). OK, two, because I took Corporations, but given that it was taught one of the founders of The Project on Law and Mind Sciences, nearly zero amount of the material covered in that course appeared in my bar review outline. I read that outline and was like, wow, so this is what we were "supposed" to be learning!

The study notes, "Over 14,000 new law school graduates failed state bar examinations in 2005 and were unable to enter their chosen profession. Counting repeat test takers, 28,599 law school graduates failed state bar examinations in 2005 as opposed to 51,958 who passed."

Of course they all had to waste 3 years of their life & all that tuition money and some of them will never be able to pass. An obvious solution? Require people to pass the bar after their first year of law school.

Yes, lj-cut for your reading pleasure so that you don't end up like Dani last week having to say "gee, that's all very interesting" to save yourself from an (imho, brief) monologue about my study habits and strategy.

And, some heartwarming trans content via budgie3579: Thai school offers transsexual toilet

liketheark @ 2008-07-21T13:23:00

2008-07-21T18:44:00Z

Newsweek cover story (via tgpoc list): Young, ~~Gay~~ Trans and Murdered (the beginning is particularly disturbing, fyi)

Is there anything not going on in that story? Damn. I'll summarize one part: a) it was the kid's fault and b) if it wasn't the kid, it was the dyke vice principal. Yes, it's the freak that's the problem. We never stopped to ask, gee, maybe it's everyone else who is insecure about their gender and sexuality and race. Maybe we should help them become more comfortable with themselves so that they don't go around being behaving like nut jobs who bully and kill another student.

While the editor's introduction says "the story was far more complicated than it had first appeared" the reporter just couldn't make the mental leap and actually explore what it would mean if Larry King were actually Leticia. How can you write an entire article about this and not use the word "transgender" or "gender expression" or "gender variant" or anything at all to indicate that gender expression does not equal sexuality?

If the reporter had, we might have answers to questions raised such as how many girls at that school dressed the way Leticia did? How many behaved toward boys the way Leticia did? How many gay 14-year-old boys tell their mothers they want a sex change? How would Leticia have been received differently if people thought of "him" as "her"? We might inquire about what it means that there no gender variant pictures of this person up on the family's memorial site (hot pink gloves notwithstanding)? What if all of the teachers ceased seeing Leticia's gender expression as "flaunting homosexuality?"

Not that there is not a double standard for "flaunting" sexuality, not that homophobia wasn't a factor here, but by ignoring the gender variance and focusing just on sexuality, the article fails to point out how a lot of the attention Leticia generated was simply due gender variance, not sexuality. People at that same school probably wouldn't have been so freaked out by a gender normative gay boy. I seriously doubt if Larry was the (white) star of the football team that he would have been killed. (Barney Frank, I hope you're listening.)

Also in this issue, sad (?) news: the creator of the "Men on a Mission" calendar, was excommunicated by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But don't worry, he's already completed 2009 calendar. And for fans of the ladies, coming in 2010 is a "calendar of women he's calling 'Mormon Muffins: A Taste of Motherhood,' in which mothers will pose and offer their favorite recipes."

And what will they think of next. A new way to criminalize men of color: make saggy pants illegal.

Yeah, I'm gonna go study now....

lol of the day

2008-07-18T19:52:34Z

from an ad for an office manager in Utah:

We are a equal opportunity employer and men are also encouraged to apply.

And, hey, if that doesn't work out...

Sales Position/Secretary - Multiple Positions
Good Timber Log Furnishings Hiring for a full-time sales position/secretary and part-time chainsaw bear carver.

freaky nipples

2008-07-15T02:39:12Z

And on a lighter note... (x-posted to ftm)

I came back from running today and was about to get in the shower when I noticed in the mirror a strange sweat-free spot around my left nipple on my otherwise sweat-covered chest. Initially I though maybe that part had somehow gotten dried off by my shirt, but then I noticed that it was a diamond shape extending beyond all sides of my nipple, and there was a smaller diamond (really only the bottom) around my right nipple.

I promptly went over to my parents saying, "want to see something freaky?" My mom was suitably weirded out.

I think I only noticed this for the first time because I didn't have the light on in the bathroom, so the natural light made it more visible.

So, what gives? Has anyone else noticed this? My surgery was 2.5 years ago. Sure, I could email Medalie, but I'm not entirely sure I want to know.

a different kind of WASP sting

2008-07-15T01:38:44Z

To: The New Yorker

Congratulations--your cover got me to donate $100 to the Obama campaign. Seems that the first black presidential nominee continues to need extra cash to defend against white supremacy and its less taboo stand-in, Islamophobia. Satire challenges the status quo. You drew its portrait.

[I really did donate, and I really don't have $100 to spare. But then again, that $100 wasn't really mine in the first place.]

Barack Obama, future transsexual

2008-07-11T00:16:54Z

I was watching Hardball and they were talking about whether or not Obama has gotten Hillary's women supporters yet. (Polls indicate yes.) But Hilary Rosen, political director of The Huffington Post, pointed out how what's really going on when people like to claim that Obama has a problem is the fact that Hillary's supporters were really passionate about having a woman president. She said Obama's going to get their votes, but the kind of enthusiasm they had for Hillary isn't going to be there.

She said that only way Obama could get that passion transferred is if he changes genders. Hee hee.

(If you wanted to watch it, it's at the very end of this clip.)

Newsweek already labeled Obama the first female president: The First Woman President? Obama's campaign bends gender conventions. Yes, I know, of course Obama's "allowed" to engage in those kind of behaviors because he's a man. If Hillary had she would have been dismissed as a woman. But of course, Bill Clinton was allowed to be Black. Obama's not.

While I'm reporting things heard on cable news, a few weeks ago an Iowa flood victim was interviewed on CNN. Her daycare center had been destroyed, and she had this to say:

[crying] "If I could just be on the floor playing with dolls with the girls or building Legos with the boys, everything would be alright."

Because enforcing binary gender roles makes everything alright!

I thought it was really interesting because Eckhart Tolle mentions gender identity as being one of the first things that the ego clings to. So here, all these things she would normally attach to disappeared, but she still had gender.

liketheark @ 2008-07-01T16:13:00

2008-07-01T20:27:12Z

At lunch I was watching CNN. The mayor of Birmingham, AL, was being interviewed about the decision for city employees to go to a 4-day work week. I was impressed by seeing a public official who has some common sense! There are a gazillion reasons why that makes sense, but the conversation was focusing on gas prices (though other things were mentioned like parents having more time with their kids). I was already thinking damn this guy's brilliant, I want to move to Birmingham, when he starts talking about how they need to bring back trolleys and such.

I thought, "Forget Utah! (unless they're doing this too) I'm moving to Birmingham!" At that moment, the graphic on the bottom of the screen switched to read "Utah implementing 4-day work week."

My head about exploded. But it's true. Holy shit. My luck though, "Workers in the state court system will be exempt from a new state-wide mandatory 4-day work week for most state employees."

I am loving these high gas prices and the free market. People are actually waking up and making smart decisions for a change.

read then listen...

2008-06-28T03:23:49Z

To: All Things Considered

Thank you for reporting on the story of an American stealing a baby from Iraq (Young Victim of Iraqi Insurgents Heals in U.S., 26 June 08). It is often difficult to explain how US military invasions of other countries leads to Americans taking anything they want from that country—including the children—so I am grateful that I can direct people to your story as one example of how this occurs.

I thought it was interesting how the American woman chose to blame Sunni "terrorists" for Hamoody being shot—as though it were simply infighting between Sunni and Shi'a Muslims that resulted in Hamoody's situation. In the future, I would love to see the reporter point out that but for the US invasion of Iraq, Hamoody never would have been shot, and he would still be living with his parents in Baghdad.

Another question raised by the story but left unanswered was why didn't the mother make any effort to find someone who could speak Arabic? It was almost as if she had planned all along on stealing the child, which is pretty chilling (along with the fact that she hasn't told the Iraqi family about the asylum application). Stepping back a little further, one wonders why wasn't the boy placed with an Arabic-speaking family in the first place? I'd love to see such questions addressed in future stories.

What I thought was most interesting was how the story placed the ultimate reason for Hamoody remaining in the US on the uncle in Iraq who thought there wasn't much future for a blind child in Iraq. This had a tri-fold effect. First, it naturalized the abduction—clearly it wasn't an "abduction" since he would be "better off" in the US. Second, it portrayed Iraq as a backwards country, which even bolsters the case for the invasion in the first place. And third, it also obscured the fact that blind people cannot "live a full life" in the US either where rampant discrimination has lead to a steady 70% unemployment rate—a statistic that would have been an excellent addition to the piece.

A Complaint-Free World

2008-06-20T22:29:31Z

OK, I actually wrote this last month, but now that I'm out of the closet, I'll post it. :)

I recently read a book, A Complaint-Free World. It's a must-read. I (not-so-)randomly picked up the book off of the new books shelf at the library along with, Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert Emmons. Thanks! was an informative, fairly quick read that felt a little more like taking my medicine. It also felt a little finger waggy, like I was being told, "you should be grateful, you ungrateful thing." I'm not officially undertaking the gratitude journal (as was one of the recommendations) but I am trying to be grateful in all situations, and if I get really down, to try to think of things I am grateful for, which has been useful.

Sidebar on racism: these books are both by white men, and so on one hand, I'm happy that I can read things by white men and learn from them, but on the other, well, let me share a couple of things from Thanks!. It was sort of like I was reading along...then I got smacked out of the blue. He actually uses as his prime example of ungratefulness a Black family who were victims of Hurricane Katrina who were taken in by a white family in white Minnesota. Then, believe it or not, there was tension! One of the examples he gave was that there was no radio station in the area that played hip-hop, and then white family wouldn't let the Black family download music on their computer. There were other things too (and I'm sure plenty that weren't recorded at all), but he completely ignored the gazillion and one structural things that lead to the situation (going all the way back to the poor levies if you'd like) and totally blames that individual Black family for being "ungrateful" and feeling "entitled." Uh-huh. In another illustration of "ungrateful" people, he used Iraqis (or Iraqi Americans, I can't remember) who did not support the war saying, "We liberated their country! Why aren't they licking our boots!?" I'm only slightly exaggerating. It was gross. I think there was one other equally egregious example, but I don't recall it. End sidebar.

But it was nice to read the two books together because they're essentially two sides to the same coin--if you're complaining, you're being ungrateful, and one way to avoid complaining, is to be grateful. I was trying this out--like when my roommate was annoying me with endless noise, I'd think to myself (through gritted teeth), "I'm grateful that I can hear."

But back to the complaint-free world. The idea is that you strive to go for 21 days without complaining (and then it becomes a habit). And you keep starting over again if you complain at any point. I'm not about to undertake this while studying for the bar, because I would use up all my willpower. I think I already am in a way, because I have become a lot more aware of when I'm complaining. I have become conscious of the fact that I am complaining, but then I do it anyway. But I also have all of these things that I want to complain about, but I'm not letting myself.

I am proud of myself today, however, because there was an annoying opinion piece in the newspaper and some people were complaining (at some length in one case) about it on a message board. I thought about joining in, but instead I took the time to write a (darn good) letter to the editor and sent it in. So that is just one example of how destructive (as opposed to constructive) complaining can be. That is why I didn't write a detailed rant about the NPR stories--if I'm going to spend more energy on it, I want it to be more constructive. [I still hope to send them an email when the mood strikes me.]

I read about half of A Complaint-Free World while waiting in line for a Barack Obama rally. (Yes, it's an easy read...plus there were 10,000 people.) It was the perfect book for the occasion. Obama's speech really appealed to me because it mirrors what I am trying to do in my life, focus on the positive, not criticize others; work for change, not complain about what's wrong.

I really feel for him--it's like he's taking an 18-month complaint-free challenge, and obviously, since he's human, he's going to slip up. But I'm so impressed with how little he has lashed out up to this point given everything that's been thrown at him. Plus, there is all this societal pressure to fire back because if you don't, you look like a wuss.

I worked up the nerve to mention the book to my parents at dinner last night. (He suggests you find a supportive buddy.) If you think I complain a lot, well, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Basically everything my mom says is a complaint. She denied it at first, but then we pointed out all of the things she'd complained about since we got to the restaurant. But she has no desire to try to change. Not that I really thought she would, but I guess I'll be undertaking the challenge by myself.

[And in a delicious update, my mom came home yesterday with The Secret. This is a woman doesn't read books, so behold the power of Oprah--the book was mentioned in a re-run on Friday, that I happened to also watch, though we were watching on different TVs, so I hadn't even known she was watching it. (Ahem, I guess "fuck you, Microsoft" counts as a complaint. Yes, one of Word's "features" wouldn't let me capitalize the V in TVs.) Anyway, The Secret is good because it is another book that emphasizes gratitude, so maybe she's on the complaint-free path after all!]